A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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