Who did Billy Mays play for?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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