Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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