So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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