You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
