it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
