Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We need to rekindle our bromance
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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