I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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