she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
