There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize