Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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