you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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