Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
