You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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