I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
