dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
