This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
