You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
