he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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