dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
