strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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