Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
