Whod you bang
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
