Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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