My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
