I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Did I show you my penis last night?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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