dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
No subtext here. People are naked.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
