And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
