It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
