; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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