He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
