She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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