idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
