He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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