You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
