The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
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