He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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