Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
