apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
