ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
