somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
