Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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