i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
