Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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