My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
