She is in my trunk
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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