big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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