YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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