She's JV to your varsity
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
