she was so not down for the gang bang
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
