What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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