Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
