frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
