I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
