Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
