how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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