Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
