I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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