If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We talked him into tasing himself.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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