Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I think weed is turning my hair brown
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Randomize
