I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
