its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Randomize
