I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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