Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
